Today is my first
of (hopefully) many blog posts during my road trip of music festivals across the
USA. There are some areas that do not have a festival of my liking, so I will
be visiting Cancer Centers too. My
sister died in June 2014 from Cancer about 11 months after her diagnosis. I
lost a lifelong friend suddenly last year too and it is still surreal. Hers
stemmed from her demons of addiction she fought. I will talk more about this
during my blogging time too. Enablers can kill the addict, so I have very
little patience for those who enable. (I am a Recovering Alcoholic of 30
years) It is hard not to enable when we love someone, but I won’t enable because it can kill them. In
the end, the addict HAS to want to do it for themselves, NO ONE else…The hard truth...
In my past, many moons ago, I lost a significant other that died from cancer too, along with too many friends of the family from Iowa. (I am born/raised in Iowa and live in SW Florida now) What I have learned (from experience) is when someone gets to the harder stages of their disease, people stop showing up to visit. Not because they no longer care but because they don’t know what to say or how to handle it. It is what it is. It doesn’t scare me at all. I will visit where I can during my road trip.
Now in April, I have been with family wandering around Iowa and enjoyed a lot of rest time that I must have needed. I have been in bed since Monday night with a cold/flu bug I caught. YUK! It’s been a couple years since I was this sick, but better now than when I am on the road. The weather has been gloomy, 40’s, raining, and windy this week, so it’s good I was stuck inside. I did go to work-out a bit today because I felt strong enough to try. Got some cardio in and some strength training. A good sweat never hurt anyone.
I hope you follow my page on my website marked “Music Marathon” & Blog for photos, & videos of my journey I am on. In December & January of this year, I began putting this road trip together in the back of my mind. By the end, I will tell you all the reasons how this all began. I simply turned a negative into a positive! Once I made the decision, it has evolved to this thus far. It just may SHOCK you too. Only a few people in my life know the real reason I began this path... Truly, I am open to God leading me here this year and this road trip I am about to embark upon. I love, love the driving because it is my thinking time, my headphones time, & simply me time. I am open to what I see, hear, & feel on this journey. I have many things to sort out for myself and people in my life have no idea about it. The judgers in the world simply see things so superficially and create their own stories that are simply not true. It astonishes me that people can actually create such fiction about someone else, then expecting them (me) to take responsibility for it. Just makes me chuckle at times….
insecure people project their own issues on others. The ones they cannot face
for themselves…. It’s just that simple, but it doesn’t mean it cannot hurt
someone. I have always known who I am, God knows me too and that is all that
matters. I know I have an average, but good self-esteem most of the time. (of
course I am not perfect) A healthy self-esteem seen by others is quiet confidence. I do not need to be
the center of attention or be loud attracting everyone’s attention. I am simply
me, take it or leave it. Your view of me has zero effect on my self-esteem. I
have looked in the mirror most days during my 30 years of sobriety and personal
growth work because my life starts with me. It is the only way for true personal growth...
The desert is coming when I get to Arizona & New Mexico and I am soo excited because I have never been there. Very curious how the dry heat is for my arthritis and new hardware will be on me. I know what this cold, rainy, gloomy weather does for me and it’s not good, but seeing family is very nice. I have approximately 35,000 people collectively with all my social media and I am stirring them all up on this journey. For those who do not know me, I had 4 full joint replacements in 1 calendar year in 2012. I WANTED my life back! I lost so much of my 30’s and 40’s due to illness, surgeries, & recoveries. I hope you all share my journey with your online Friends! Lastly, I will be seeing a good friend of mine from Florida in New Mexico when she visits family. Sooo excited and its amazing how things are falling into place.
At the cancer
centers, I want to spend time with cancer patients during their chemo time
because I know there are some there who are alone (so I have to get over my bug
now). The first one will be after Rock Fest in Kansas City, MO. Next, I drive
across Kansas and there are not any festivals that interest me, except the
Strawberry fest, but I can do both. I will be updating my page of my itinerary
that is simply a guidance, because things could change along the way. Pssst, I am FREE from College too and finished my LAST degree in March 2016. I have free time and it free'd up my brain too. ;)
Ok, Ok, yeah I know I wrote a novel and shit, it will happen again. :) I have an embedded feedback thread began on Music Marathon tab of MernaThrone.com, so I would love to hear from you!
Tags: music marathon music festivals music rock music music crawl i love music music lovers addicts recovering addicts recovering alcoholics demons